I am no different then many others. A new year brings new hope for change and resolutions abound. I've sworn off the usual promises to exercise more and eat less, although I do intend to do better this year on both counts.
Since I can remember I have always admired those that kept a daily diary and over many years I have attempted and failed. I am hoping that as I mark my 60th birthday coming this July 6th that I can begin putting my thoughts in print. The printed word solidifies dreams, ideas and allows us to share the deepest part of ourselves with anyone who wishes to listen.
When I chose the title for my blog, MY RAW INSIGHTS, I wanted it to not only encompass my thoughts but also my beliefs as a raw vegan. I hope to post some of my favorite raw recipes, health tips animal rights stories that inspire me.
I think about the impending finality of this life. My father turning 83 tomorrow is housebound and suffering from dementia. Everyday his memories are slowly chipped away, until one day I'll no longer be able to talk to him on any level. I wonder about my parents lost hopes and dreams. We've never really talked in depth about them as people.They've always somehow been just my parents even now that I am turning 60. I am still their child and some things they still feel uncomfortable to discuss with me. I know so little about them.
I think about my son Milan, a blessing in my life who will soon lose his father. A man he barely knew or saw outside of his alcoholic stupor.He is struggling with an unfounded but real guilt about not connecting more with his father. A father who was never there and checked out so very long ago. He was a troubled man who lived in his own cocoon shutting out the comforting world of family. He sought approval from strangers in bars and clubs, buying drinks for adulation, and hiding behind a bottle from the world. He has reaped his reward for the choices he has made as we all do sooner or later. He spent his last days, alone in a old age facility that is more a prison than home with rough uncaring people with few visits from anyone he knows. His new home ironically beside a cemetery.
As I approach my 60th year I look back on what choices I would have made, if I only knew now what I wish I would have known then. There are I hope not many, but I will try to think on that over the next few days and post my insights.
My Thought of The Day:
If I could go back in time and fix all the mistakes I made, I wouldn't because it has made me who I am today.
